In The Flying Spaghetti Monster We Trust

On Sunday, I posted about how as time goes by, I think about the things I believe, and sometimes reaffirm my own ideals, other times I adapt and evolve.  I asked if there was any subject that I should write about, that any of you readers would like to get my take on.  I usually crosspost my entry link to my old LiveJorunal account, and it was there that I received a reply from an LJ user named “weirdauntie.”

She wanted to know: “…what’s the purpose of it all? Is there one? What do you think?”

I am thirty years old.  My life has been, well, not the average one.  This has always dramatically altered my view of the purpose of life.  I think everyone’s idea of this is personal, and fluctuates and undulates like a sea.  One day, you’ll hear someone spit out bitterly that there is no purpose and all of existence is the piss puddle of a cruel and sadistic God.  Other days, you’ll hear the very same person cry out in a sing-song tone that life is wonderful, and it’s all just sunshine and lollipops.  It is in that seesawing light that I preface this answer with the statement that what I say now, isn’t what I said yesterday, nor what I will say tomorrow.

So…

I have always had faith.  This is not a faith in God, necessarily.  Nor is it a faith in myself, or mankind, or the flying spaghetti monster.  It is simply faith in hope.  If you knew much about my life, you’d probably be shocked to hear (read) me saying this.  Even my fiance is constantly bewildered at my undying belief that there is always hope.  Many days, in fact, I don’t even understand why I believe that.

To put it more clearly, I think that all of existence is an equation.  I see it as a mathematical idea that requires balance, reason, and has an answer.  I wish I knew that answer, but just because I don’t, doesn’t mean there isn’t one.  So, with this equation, there is also rules.  These rules lay out the way things should be, and the way they will inevitably become.  I know, I know – you’re already shaking your head and wondering what the fuck I’m talking about.

Honestly, I don’t even know sometimes.

Anyway, I guess I’m trying to say that I think life is ordered, balanced and defined by some incomprehensible rules.  I figure that for every life like mine, there must be a life that is unjustifiably blessed.  Balance.  I also figure that this is the way it has to be.  That doesn’t sound very hopeful, but it is.  I hope that by enduring the life I do, I am sparing someone else that life.  On the other side, I know for a fact that there is balance because I have seen many of my friends with absolutely horrible relationships.  Mine is a shining light on a dark and hungry sea that devours even the swarthiest of sailors.  My love life balances other people’s, and my love life balances my own regular life.

I have faith in the balance, and the plan.  I am not a person who thinks there is a manipulating string-pulling God, who drags his people around like marionettes.  I do believe, however, that there is some sort of fate, or destiny.  If all of matter is held constant, as well as energy, by unbending rules – why not the very nature of existence.  With rules, also comes a set outcome.

In sports, you follow the rules, and there is a winner and a loser, and within the rules, this is determined by each player’s nature.  Take away the rules, and there is no winner, no loser, not even a starting whistle.  It all unravels.  Reinsert the rules, and the freeflowing mess that was dribbling off the field coagulates once again into an ordered, and determined occurrence.

I’m rambling, but you ask a tough question, and you get… me verbally flying all over the map trying to connect the dots of an abstract thought, and failing to make even the slightest bit of sense.

In short, I believe in a purpose, and a meaning to it all.  I haven’t the foggiest idea what it is, but I cling tightly to the hope that my life is this way for a reason.  I also firmly believe that everyone else’s lives have reasons.  Sometimes, though, I think those reasons are simply to serve me, entertain me, or just piss me off.  I’m a little self-absorbed that way. 

 

If anyone else has any other questions, or topics they would like to get my take on, feel free to ask.  I will post my answers by Sunday.